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Heather Mills Explodes Over Macca's Bonkfest

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:lie: :lie: :lie: :lie: :lie: :lie:

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Miserable Liar Heather Mills, darling of the nation, actually exploded yesterday when she learned that Sir Paul McCartney had jetted off for a holiday with heiress Nancy Shevell, according to a report.

Macca, 60, and Nancy, 47, have been exchanging genital fluids in the Caribbean island resort of Jumby Mumby Wumby Tumby Lumby Bay Window over the past weeky.

Wad

Heather is said to be infuriated by the news and before exploding reportedly phoned up her former husband Paul to accuse him of blowing his wad over Nancy and flying first class.

:lie: :lie: :lie: :lie: :lie: :lie:

FIrst Class

"She went absolutely crazy," a source told What Dishwasher. "She was screaming, 'I bet Paul paid for that old tart to go first-class. I can't believe he's wasting money on that thing when he won't pay for his own child to go first-class!!!. I'm going to stab him with my stump!'" She apparently shreiked on the point of exploding but it could have been a fart.

Mills was awarded £24.3 million of McCartney's fortune at a High Court hearing earlier this month after lying continuously in order to try and milk over £!50 million from the Beatles Star. She later admitted that she was unhappy with the ruling, claiming that their daughter Beatrice would no longer be able to have a first-class seat on flights, as £24.3 million wasn't nearly enough and she would have to take the obviously spoilt brat on public transport in future.

:lie: :lie: :lie: :lie: :lie: :lie:

A couple of rent a sources explained: "She's obsessed by the first-class thing and thinks Paul is treating their daughter with less care than he treats his women. Heather got on the phone to confront him about his mad spending. She demanded to know whether he paid for Nancy to go first-class.

"Paul told her to fuck off and said she had her own money and could afford to pay for herself. She wouldn't let it go, though, and in the end he told her not to call him again unless it was about Bea. Then he hung up on her - which wound her up even more."
:lie: :lie: :lie: :lie: :lie: :lie:
Punctured
After a 10 minute build up she then exploded sending her false leg into near earth orbit which, in a chain of events almost unimaginable, punctured the international space station in the Japanese section and suffocated two experimental kamikazes who were taking part in a series of secret research missions to gather data on zero gravity suicides.

A spokesperson for kamikazes was unavailable for comment since 1944



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hee hee :rofl: :rofl:

I don't know how Heather Mills has the front to show herself out side the front door of her newly aquired £25 million wealth. Nice work if you can get it. Still not enough to buy her First Class though. :roll:

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Is it wrong that Heather Mills has the kind of face I want to punch? :o

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Heather Mills is quite popular on here anyway, 11 threads on two pages is a great haul :thumb:




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mr. mustard wrote:Heather Mills is quite popular on here anyway, 11 threads on two pages is a great haul :thumb:


Yeah I'll have to start charging her rent. She can go First Class here too. :)

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Every time I hear her name I cringe. :o

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Jericho wrote:Every time I hear her name I cringe. :o


<whispers in ear> 'heather mills, heather mills, heather mills, heather mills, heather mills, heather mills, heather mills, heather mills .."

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smeggypants wrote:<whispers in ear> 'heather mills, heather mills, heather mills, heather mills, heather mills, heather mills, heather mills, heather mills .."


Oh you are so evil ! :eek4: :eek4: :rofl:

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Agreed ! :thumb:

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McCartney is better off without that asshole. She did some one legged ice dancing crap over here once. No one liked her. Go back to ya hole Mills. Ugly Mofo!!! And what's all this first class shit? Get on the bus like everyone else!!
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

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How come she can't afford to travel 1st class with 25 mill. under her belt?
WTF is she doing with her money.... eating it? :confused:

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Joe's Girl wrote:How come she can't afford to travel 1st class with 25 mill. under her belt?
WTF is she doing with her money.... eating it? :confused:


She's obviously full of shit. Possibly the Western Worlds most despised divorcee/amputee. Although to be honest I wasn't that keen on Linda McCartney. Her range of insincere foods which weren't healthy in the slightest,despite giving off the vibe of being so were a con and simply a crap product cashing in on her name.

Taht's no reflection on her very sad illness and subsequent death though. I have all sympathy for such. but Linda McCartney Foods. BULLSHIT!!

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smeggypants wrote:
Joe's Girl wrote:How come she can't afford to travel 1st class with 25 mill. under her belt?
WTF is she doing with her money.... eating it? :confused:


She's obviously full of shit. Possibly the Western Worlds most despised divorcee/amputee. Although to be honest I wasn't that keen on Linda McCartney. Her range of insincere foods which weren't healthy in the slightest,despite giving off the vibe of being so were a con and simply a crap product cashing in on her name.

Taht's no reflection on her very sad illness and subsequent death though. I have all sympathy for such. but Linda McCartney Foods. BULLSHIT!!



Yeah. I tried some once...vile! :vomit: As to Heather - I don't reckon she's too tightly wrapped, if what I hear tell of her is true. :eek4:

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