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Coldplay and Jordan top ruminant poll

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A survey from soul-less hotel chain Travelodge has shown that Coldplay is the music of choice for people trying to get to sheep.

The pastel coloured rock band, who don't have a member called Nigel, topped a poll asking which music people use to help them find sheep. 'James Cunt', 'Snow Patrol', 'Take That You Bastard' and 'Cliff Richard' made up the "Quadruped Parade" top five.

Jordan's autobiography was the book chosen by most people to send them off to sheep. Books from David Beckham, Jodie Marsh and Sharon Osbourne, all of which had no literary value whatsoever also ranked highly in leading people to quality herds of even-toed ungulates.

Travelodge's polyster dressed corporate drone Leigh McCarron, 22, said: "The research shows that people who are forced to use our hotels are increasingly relying on slow, sleepy music and unchallenging books to take our minds off the pressures of having to stay in a computer generated room decorated with oppressive wallpaper and non-inspiring art and of course to help us find sheep. Coldplay and Jordan seem to hit just the right spot among Britain's ruminant chasers

The study showed that 87% of those questioned no longer used the traditional method of counting sheep and wanted to find real herds instead.

Jenny McBurger, 34, Logistical Dimension Manager from Spunket and Spunket Ltd said "I'm a regular user of Travelodge and I would love to find a complimentary Blackckhead Persian in the room. Although I would make do with a sheared Coopworth if forced. Although you can't beat an Exmoor Horn

Travelodge has promised to install Pens in at least 3% of it's hotel rooms by the year 2050. A passer by said "That's good enough"

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