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Crimes Against Music

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blozznob wrote:Going back a bit ...

what about these abominations? Played by the DJ at a function I attended this weekend.
Racey - 'Some Girls Will.' Made much worse by the fact that the lead singer obviously really fancied himself as a babe magnet. They were all fugly.

Rubettes - 'Sugar Baby Love.' That falsetto 'aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaaah' bit was cringeworthy and I shudder now at the very memory of it. They were all fugly an'all.

The Nolans - 'Im In The Mood For Dancing' - if only they had recorded it a tone or a semitone down. That lead singer is straining on all the high notes and it is painful to listen to.

Oh dear...I love all of those songs.... :oops:

But then I think all Dire Straits CDs should be incinerated.

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Oh and Joe Dolce's "Shaddup Ya Face"

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I just thought of more.
The Birdy Song.
Agadoo and that Superman thing the Agadoo people did.
I hates 'em.

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blozznob wrote:I just thought of more.
Agadoo and that Superman thing the Agadoo people did.
I hates 'em.


It's fun for all of 5 seconds. Enough to commit murder I think. :doh: :doh:

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Misha wrote:
blozznob wrote:I just thought of more.
Agadoo and that Superman thing the Agadoo people did.
I hates 'em.


It's fun for all of 5 seconds. Enough to commit murder I think. :doh: :doh:



No way am I clicking on that.
You are just trying to upset me aint ya? :eek4:

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blozznob wrote:I just thought of more.
The Birdy Song.
Agadoo and that Superman thing the Agadoo people did.
I hates 'em.

I got into a row with someone over The Birdy Song once :mad1: The 70s can't be exempted from the music crime gallery either. Despite the excellence of many singles, there were horrors too. Clive Dunn's Grandad and The St Winifred's Church Choir's There's No One Quite Like Grandma were both awful.

There's a sickly streak of emotion in some of the British public that's prone to fall for sentimental bilge.

The Antichrist Cowell knows this and has often tapped into it with his besuited puppets and brats.

Little Jimmy Osmond was a horrible example; sad, because the Osmonds wrote some decent stuff at times, including a concept album.




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mr. mustard wrote:
blozznob wrote:I just thought of more.
The Birdy Song.
Agadoo and that Superman thing the Agadoo people did.
I hates 'em.

I got into a row with someone over The Birdy Song once :mad1: The 70s can't be exempted from the music crime gallery either. Despite the excellence of many singles, there were horrors too. Clive Dunn's Grandad and The St Winifred's Church Choir's There's No One Quite Like Grandma were both awful.

There's a sickly streak of emotion in some of the British public that's prone to fall for sentimental bilge.

The Antichrist Cowell knows this and has often tapped into it with his besuited puppets and brats.

Little Jimmy Osmond was a horrible example; sad, because the Osmonds wrote some decent stuff at times, including a concept album.



At the function I attended this weekend [some crimes against music played by the DJ already listed on this thread] Donny Osmond singing 'Puppy Love' was also played. Mr Blozznob and I just looked at each other cringing. Donny's voice sounded so squeaky we thought he must have been at the helium balloons.
It sounded horrible. And in hindsight what a mushy, slushy, lousy song that was. Bleuch.

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blozznob wrote:At the function I attended this weekend [some crimes against music played by the DJ already listed on this thread] Donny Osmond singing 'Puppy Love' was also played. Mr Blozznob and I just looked at each other cringing. Donny's voice sounded so squeaky we thought he must have been at the helium balloons.
It sounded horrible. And in hindsight what a mushy, slushy, lousy song that was. Bleuch.

As with Westlife and Take That, acts like Donny Osmond were aimed at young teenage girls. They knew their target audience, so no attempt was made to write anything beyond a 'love song'. Sadly, this lazy tactic often resulted in choosing old ballads from the 50s & 60s that the younger generation had never even heard. T. Rex proved that a young audience could be treated with intelligence, but generally music targeted at teenyboppers was unimaginative and dull.

Of course Westlife are now doing the same thing with covers of 70s songs.




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mr. mustard wrote:
blozznob wrote:At the function I attended this weekend [some crimes against music played by the DJ already listed on this thread] Donny Osmond singing 'Puppy Love' was also played. Mr Blozznob and I just looked at each other cringing. Donny's voice sounded so squeaky we thought he must have been at the helium balloons.
It sounded horrible. And in hindsight what a mushy, slushy, lousy song that was. Bleuch.

As with Westlife and Take That, acts like Donny Osmond were aimed at young teenage girls. They knew their target audience, so no attempt was made to write anything beyond a 'love song'. Sadly, this lazy tactic often resulted in choosing old ballads from the 50s & 60s that the younger generation had never even heard. T. Rex proved that a young audience could be treated with intelligence, but generally music targeted at teenyboppers was unimaginative and dull.

Of course Westlife are now doing the same thing with covers of 70s songs.


Didn't work with me. I was a kid in the 60's/70's and the first single I bought was Jean Genie. Then Jeepster.
I openly mocked the Osmond fans and wickedly scoffed at Bay City Rollers fans. :D
Maybe thats why I was filled with horror listening to those horrible songs again on Saturday night. If I'd have liked 'em the first time round I suppose I would have been misty eyed with nostalgia. :D

And this rehashing old songs always makes me smile. Well when it's not making me feel old because I can remember the original. :D

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Bowker's cat wrote:And Seaside Shuffle,J ohnny Reggae and christ knows what other dross.

I thought Seaside Shuffle was Jona Lewie under the name of Terry Daktyl and the Dinosaurs.

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mr. mustard wrote:
blozznob wrote:I just thought of more.
The Birdy Song.
Agadoo and that Superman thing the Agadoo people did.
I hates 'em.

I got into a row with someone over The Birdy Song once :mad1: The 70s can't be exempted from the music crime gallery either. Despite the excellence of many singles, there were horrors too. Clive Dunn's Grandad and The St Winifred's Church Choir's There's No One Quite Like Grandma were both awful.

There's a sickly streak of emotion in some of the British public that's prone to fall for sentimental bilge.

The Antichrist Cowell knows this and has often tapped into it with his besuited puppets and brats.

Little Jimmy Osmond was a horrible example; sad, because the Osmonds wrote some decent stuff at times, including a concept album.

They did. With Crazy Horses on it.

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Cat O'Tonic wrote:James Blunt

Are you Marcus Brigstocke?

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blozznob wrote:Didn't work with me. I was a kid in the 60's/70's and the first single I bought was Jean Genie. Then Jeepster.
I openly mocked the Osmond fans and wickedly scoffed at Bay City Rollers fans. :D
Maybe thats why I was filled with horror listening to those horrible songs again on Saturday night. If I'd have liked 'em the first time round I suppose I would have been misty eyed with nostalgia. :D

And this rehashing old songs always makes me smile. Well when it's not making me feel old because I can remember the original. :D

There were some who didn't get sucked into the vortex of teeny slop ;)

Well done Blozz :thumb:




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mr. mustard wrote:
blozznob wrote:Didn't work with me. I was a kid in the 60's/70's and the first single I bought was Jean Genie. Then Jeepster.
I openly mocked the Osmond fans and wickedly scoffed at Bay City Rollers fans. :D
Maybe thats why I was filled with horror listening to those horrible songs again on Saturday night. If I'd have liked 'em the first time round I suppose I would have been misty eyed with nostalgia. :D

And this rehashing old songs always makes me smile. Well when it's not making me feel old because I can remember the original. :D

There were some who didn't get sucked into the vortex of teeny slop ;)

Well done Blozz :thumb:


Why fank you. :cool1:

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The Frog Chorus to be fair was written for a children's film. It was made for kids as was Macca's earlier single Mary Had A Little Lamb.

Maybe not the greatest records, but I prefer them to 'adult' rubbish like Agadoo.




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Ms Honey wrote:Image

Noooooooooooooo!!!!!


hee hee.
Macca committed another crime against music by getting Linda to 'play' keyboards. :D
Linda was lovely and all that but by allowing a keyboard blagger on stage he opened the floodgates for Club and Pub bands allover the country to pretend to be a proper band by having their own keyboard blagger on stage with them.
They think they can fool me but I know they are just working the stage lights really.
And it BUGS me. :mad:

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And that reminds me,
Marc Bolan has a case to answer an' all because he had Mickey Finn on stage with him pretending to be a percussionist.
I'm surprised he knew which way up to mount his congas in the bloody stand.

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blozznob wrote:And that reminds me,
Marc Bolan has a case to answer an' all because he had Mickey Finn on stage with him pretending to be a percussionist.
I'm surprised he knew which way up to mount his congas in the bloody stand.

Mickey Finn was a great visual element in T. Rex. He added to their originality and charisma IMO. I didn't really care if he was competent musically or not; to see a bongo player in a four piece group was unusual and it made T. Rex even more different.

T. Rex don't really belong in this thread, they were such a great band :cool1:




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mr. mustard wrote:
blozznob wrote:And that reminds me,
Marc Bolan has a case to answer an' all because he had Mickey Finn on stage with him pretending to be a percussionist.
I'm surprised he knew which way up to mount his congas in the bloody stand.

Mickey Finn was a great visual element in T. Rex. He added to their originality and charisma IMO. I didn't really care if he competent musically or not; to see a bongo player in a four piece group was unusual and it made T. Rex even more different.

T. Rex don't really belong in this thread, they were such a great band :cool1:



You are condoning instrument blaggers!!!!!!
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Instrument blagging is a crime against music. :spank:

Shiela E, now THERE's a percussionist. :D

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blozznob wrote:You are condoning instrument blaggers!!!!!!
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Instrument blagging is a crime against music. :spank:

Shiela E, now THERE's a percussionist. :D

I'm pretty sure Marc Bolan wouldn't have used a bongo player who messed up the band's ryhthm. As far as I'm aware Mickey could play. Some of the bongo playing on the Tanx album is excellent.

Blagging, when it does occur, isn't always a crime either. The Beach Boys hardly played a note on the Pet Sounds album - session musicians were used, but it's still a classic 'Beach Boys' album. I saw Wings live BTW, and Linda never hit one bad note on keyboards.




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