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If your child commits a very serious crime?

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If your child commits a very serious crime?

Not being a parent I'd like to know how parents would react if their child committed a very serious crime. i.e murder, rape, paedophila, etc

Would you stand by them or condemn them? I would imagine it must be a situation that would tear you apart?

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smeggypants wrote:If your child commits a very serious crime?

Not being a parent I'd like to know how parents would react if their child committed a very serious crime. i.e murder, rape, paedophila, etc

Would you stand by them or condemn them? I would imagine it must be a situation that would tear you apart?


i wouldn't hesitate to turn them in.
if you have bought them up to know the difference between right and wrong, they themselves will understand that they have to take responsibility for thier actions.
as their parent you will always love them but not neccessarily understand why they have commited a crime.
some crimes i could never understand, such as paedophilia and rape--and these are the type of crimes for which i would utterly condemn them.

murder often has mitigating circumstances and is perhaps easier to understand (from my point of view.)

i suppose you can never really answer a question like this until the situation has arisen.

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Scott Nelson wrote:I would not forgive them for the crime(s) they committed: think of what their victim(s) have gone through.

May not forgive them or understand why they did it...but you would still love and support them,there's an unconditional love between your kids and yourself that's unique,which is why you always see parents visiting there sons on death row or in prison for life.



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Scott Nelson wrote:I'm sorry, but if my son turned out to be a murderer, a rapist, a paedophile or a terrorist, then I would not spare any feelings for him. Those crimes are unforgivable.


yes you would scott.
like stinkymouse said, parents love is unconditional.
you have said yourself that those crimes are unforgivable- not the perpetrators (if that is your child)

as a parent i think the biggest question would be why they commited the crime and then the question of what did i do wrong/where did i go wrong.

crimes like paedoplilia and rape, i could not forgive.
so even though i would continue to love my child i would not be able to forgive what they have done to another human being and as such, i would consider them "dead to me" and i would have to go so far as to mourn for them as if they were really dead.

i'm not sure that last bit makes much sense.

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I was accused of a very serious crime last year and my Mum and Dad never doubted me for a second, I had not done it but the police action of shock and awe certainly seemed to indicate they thought I had done it.




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Scott Nelson wrote:I could not be associated with someone who committed such appalling crimes no matter who it was. A friend, relative, work colleague.

What if my son committed appalling crimes to the same extent as the Krays or Ian Brady? It makes me shudder.


What would you do if your son or daughter were accused of a crime, they say they didn't do it but the police say they have evidence that they did. Do you believe them or the police, at what point do you decide they must have done it and disown them?




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Scott Nelson wrote:I could not be associated with someone who committed such appalling crimes no matter who it was. A friend, relative, work colleague.

What if my son committed appalling crimes to the same extent as the Krays or Ian Brady? It makes me shudder.


ian brady and the krays were a bit different---they were nuts!

when you have children you tend to see those shady, grey areas of the world, rather then seeing things in black and white.

you see stories of horrible crimes on the news and it is natural to come out with the usual comments but when it comes to your own child things are not going to be so cut and dried.

when it comes to paedophiles and psychopathic killers--these people look like everyone else and it is difficult to tell who and what they are simply by looking.
therefore you don't know whether you are associating with them.

people's outlook on all aspects of life changes with the arrival of one's own children--and this is simply due to unconditional love.

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robinnia wrote:
i wouldn't hesitate to turn them in.
if you have bought them up to know the difference between right and wrong, they themselves will understand that they have to take responsibility for thier actions.
as their parent you will always love them but not neccessarily understand why they have commited a crime.
some crimes i could never understand, such as paedophilia and rape--and these are the type of crimes for which i would utterly condemn them.

murder often has mitigating circumstances and is perhaps easier to understand (from my point of view.)

i suppose you can never really answer a question like this until the situation has arisen.



Agree 100% Robinnia.

I would like to think that I might pick up on any indication that my child was heading for trouble, and do something about it before then. But as said by other posters, a parents love in unconditional, and even if your child does something you don't belive in, then you still love them.

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Scott Nelson wrote:Even if a child is given a loving upbringing, they can still turn out to be nuts! If their brain is programmed to commit crimes then they'll do it! Sex offenders and murderers think what they do is normal behaviour! It isn't.


not that hoary old chestnut of the XYY thing.
such people have a propensity to commit such acts--it doesn't mean that they will do so.

nature v nurture again.

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The nature v nurture discussion :thumb:

I'm a believe that nurture counts for 85%. With the remaining % related to the way the brain works. I was watching a documentary the other night (I forget the name), but they doing scans and looking at the build of the brains of some criminals. I think the frontal part of the brain was slightly bigger in the people who had committed violent crimes.

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Scott Nelson wrote:I want to be a millionaire. I am in desperate need of money right now - but that does not mean I have the right to steal from someone else to supplement my lifestyle!



by the same token, does that mean that if you or a judiciary system want to kill a person for commiting crimes would that be right?

no-one or system has the right to kill someone just so that justice can be seen to be served.


that is not justice that is revenge.

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True red wrote:The nature v nurture discussion :thumb:

I'm a believe that nurture counts for 85%. With the remaining % related to the way the brain works. I was watching a documentary the other night (I forget the name), but they doing scans and looking at the build of the brains of some criminals. I think the frontal part of the brain was slightly bigger in the people who had committed violent crimes.


it has to be nurture. :thumb:

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Having being lost in other parts of the forum only certain beers can reach, i have just stumbled upon this thread and feel a little addition...

I remember watching a documentary about Peter Sutcliffe (Yorkshire Ripper) a few years ago now, and they interviewed Sutcliffes father.. A perfectly normal working class bloke from Bradford. Sutcliffes father was asked how he felt about his son and if he loved or hated him.... his words have always stuck with me....

Mr Sutcliffe: "I love Peter.. my little boy, I love him for who he is... I hate him for what he has done... hate him!...... but i love him as my son."

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Mr Squirrel wrote:Having being lost in other parts of the forum only certain beers can reach, i have just stumbled upon this thread and feel a little addition...

I remember watching a documentary about Peter Sutcliffe (Yorkshire Ripper) a few years ago now, and they interviewed Sutcliffes father.. A perfectly normal working class bloke from Bradford. Sutcliffes father was asked how he felt about his son and if he loved or hated him.... his words have always stuck with me....

Mr Sutcliffe: "I love Peter.. my little boy, I love him for who he is... I hate him for what he has done... hate him!...... but i love him as my son."


Exactly, and I can imagine that's just how papa sutcliffe feels.

We cannot blame parent for everything an offspring does. After all isn't it good to bring up childrent o think for themselves even if that thinking may turn out to be anti-social?

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smeggypants wrote:
Mr Squirrel wrote:Having being lost in other parts of the forum only certain beers can reach, i have just stumbled upon this thread and feel a little addition...

I remember watching a documentary about Peter Sutcliffe (Yorkshire Ripper) a few years ago now, and they interviewed Sutcliffes father.. A perfectly normal working class bloke from Bradford. Sutcliffes father was asked how he felt about his son and if he loved or hated him.... his words have always stuck with me....

Mr Sutcliffe: "I love Peter.. my little boy, I love him for who he is... I hate him for what he has done... hate him!...... but i love him as my son."


Exactly, and I can imagine that's just how papa sutcliffe feels.

We cannot blame parent for everything an offspring does. After all isn't it good to bring up childrent o think for themselves even if that thinking may turn out to be anti-social?


this is an old thread!

mr sutcliffe snr's comment sounds like a man who has spent a long time thinking/agonising about his own son and what he has done.

when you raise a child, all you can do is guide them using your own set of values into what you hope will enable them to become a decent human being.


the choices they ultimately make is down to them, and as parents, you may not always agree with them but that still doesn't stop you from loving them.

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Scott Nelson wrote:Even if a child is given a loving upbringing, they can still turn out to be nuts! If their brain is programmed to commit crimes then they'll do it! Sex offenders and murderers think what they do is normal behaviour! It isn't.


Utter bollocks.



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