A farmer was sitting on the gate at the end of a field when a young lad came up and asked, ‘Are your animals happy?’
‘Yes of course they are happy’, he said.
The young lad said, ‘Can I ask them?’
‘Sure, young man. You can ask them.’ said the farmer, laughing to himself and thinking young lad had escaped from a mental institute.
The young lad went to the horse’s stable and said, ‘Hello horse. Are you treated well? Are you happy?
The horse replied, ‘Well young man; the farmer is very good. He feeds me well, my stable is warm and dry and if it rains I stay inside. Yes. I am very happy.’
The farmer can't believe his ears! He said, ‘Horse! Why haven't you ever spoken to me?’
The horse replied, ‘You've never spoken to me, either. It takes 2 to have a conversation’.
Then the lad says to the cows, ‘Hello cows. How does the farmer treat you? Are you happy?’
‘Thanks for asking.’ said the cows, ‘He treats us really well, as it happens. We’re milked when we’re full, the pasture is lovely, really good grass, and we get to go inside when it’s raining. The bull comes every year (we look forward to that!). We’re very happy, no complaints.’
The farmer says, ‘Hey, you cows! Why haven't you ever spoken to me before?’
The herd matriarch said, ‘Because you have never asked us anything. You just open gates for us, wash our udders, clamp the milk machine on and off you go. Never a word to us cows.’
The farmer was fuming, thinking about all the money he could have made from his talking animals, when suddenly he noticed the young lad was gone. So he went to look for him finally finding him in the meadow. The young lad said, ‘I'm confused, Mr Farmer. Where are the sheep?
‘They’re in the top field.’ said the farmer. ‘But it's a long walk, and you don't want to listen to them lying bastards anyway.’