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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

"Who does the washing? Who does the drying? No one, with this washer dryer" - Jim Bowen

I still need you there beside me
No matter what I do
For I know
I'll never find another you
- The Seekers

"Life is what happens to you when you're away making other plans" - John Lennon

"Names Gene Hunt, your DCI and its 1973. Almost dinner time. I'm havin' hoops!"

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:D :D


I went for a testicular cancer check-up last week. The little Thai nurse cupped my balls and said, "Don't worry, it's quite normal to get an erection during this procedure."
I said, "I haven't got an erection."
She said "No, but I have."

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

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Image

The best facial is a daily facial.

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:rofl: :rofl:

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

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:rofl: :rofl:

:maddy: Image


Image

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:rofl:

Planets and Atmospheres: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter4
The Dome of Clement: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter2#
Minimal Cheese available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter
Website: http://www.philter.org

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An ice cream seller was today found dead on the floor of his van, covered in hundreds and thousands.
Police suspect that he topped himself



:rofl:

Planets and Atmospheres: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter4
The Dome of Clement: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter2#
Minimal Cheese available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter
Website: http://www.philter.org

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phild05 wrote:An ice cream seller was today found dead on the floor of his van, covered in hundreds and thousands.
Police suspect that he topped himself



:rofl:




:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

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:rofl: :rofl:

A man was run over by a Post Office lorry in the High Street today.
As he lay in the road a yellow lorry came around the corner and also drove over him.
Then another red lorry, followed by another yellow lorry.


A Woman Police Officer went to inform his wife of her husband’s tragic death.
She said, "There's really no easy way to say this......."

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: genuine lol at that one smeggy . How you doing.its good to be back :)



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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

:maddy: Image


Image

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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: dolls



McDonald's were giving away 18-month old, badly behaved, kids and 10 Mayfair fags to any girl in a tracksuit aged between 11 and 15 yesterday.

Or so it seemed.

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

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It's 'own clothes' day in work today so I've just come in my pants.

I should stop getting so excited about the littlest of things

:rofl: :rofl:

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

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How do you milk sheep?

Release another iPhone

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

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smeggypants wrote::rofl: :rofl:

A man was run over by a Post Office lorry in the High Street today.
As he lay in the road a yellow lorry came around the corner and also drove over him.
Then another red lorry, followed by another yellow lorry.


A Woman Police Officer went to inform his wife of her husband’s tragic death.
She said, "There's really no easy way to say this......."


:rofl: :rofl: :groan: :rofl: :rofl:

"Who does the washing? Who does the drying? No one, with this washer dryer" - Jim Bowen

I still need you there beside me
No matter what I do
For I know
I'll never find another you
- The Seekers

"Life is what happens to you when you're away making other plans" - John Lennon

"Names Gene Hunt, your DCI and its 1973. Almost dinner time. I'm havin' hoops!"

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Complete Nutter!!
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Joined: Wed May 28, 2008 10:19 am
Location: St. Albans, UK
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My Uncle Bob started walking five miles a day when he was sixty. He’s just turned eighty-five and we don’t know where the fuck he is



:rofl:

Planets and Atmospheres: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter4
The Dome of Clement: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter2#
Minimal Cheese available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter
Website: http://www.philter.org

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All the dogs at the local dogs home have gone missing after a break in.
Police havent found any leads.



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A huge hole has been discovered near my house.
Police are looking into it.



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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:maddy: Image


Image

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A man owns a swishy cocktail bar and is looking to hire a pianist. He gets a bloke in who's got Tourette's, but he can play classics, blues, jazz, "and I fucking write my own cunting stuff as well", he says.

He plays this really haunting gentle piece.

"What do you call that?"
"The smell of my wife's cunt. Here's another fucker."
And it's another great piece of music,

"That was: my cock's up your arse, now wriggle bitch" And so on.

He was the best - so good that, reluctantly, the bar owner takes him on but on the condition that he doesn't speak to the customers at all. The waiters will take requests to avoid him talking with them. It works well and trade is up.

One night the pianist can see a girl facing him in a short skirt and no knickers. After half an hour of looking up seeing that, he gets so horny that he takes a break to have a wank.

He takes a while - there is no music.

The bar manager starts looking for him, bashes on the toilet door and says, "Get out there and play now or you don't get paid for tonight."

So he rushes his wank, goes back and starts playing.

One of the waiters sees he hasn't zipped up and rushes over.

"Hey do you know your flies are undone, your cock's hanging out and there's come stains all down your leg?"

"Know it? I fucking wrote it!"



:rofl:

Planets and Atmospheres: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter4
The Dome of Clement: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter2#
Minimal Cheese available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter
Website: http://www.philter.org

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Grand Master
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