Smeggy's Forums

Forums where you CAN vent!

Skip to content

Darwin Awards

The place for Jokes - You're 'aving a laugh - "He's 'aving a laugh!"

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      


:maddy: Image


Image

User avatar
Forum Slapper Lush
Posts: 33441
Joined: Sun May 25, 2008 9:53 pm
Location: East London with Just Dave now.
How Hot Are You?: Centre Of The Sun
Current Mood: Eff it.

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

An Apple a day doesn't keep the doctor away. :thumb:

The best facial is a daily facial.

User avatar
Complete Nutter!!
Posts: 16863
Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 6:40 pm
How Hot Are You?: Siberia
Current Mood: unknown

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

What an utter, utter, utter, fucking moron!!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

User avatar
Aliens Ate My Chicken!
Posts: 111462
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 8:32 am
Location: Smegland
How Hot Are You?: The Big Bang!!
Current Mood: Won Tons Mons

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      


Blindly believing everything that i dont read in the daily propaganda tabloids


Irritating the humorless since 1973

User avatar
Nutter!!
Posts: 9824
Joined: Sun Jul 25, 2010 9:33 pm
How Hot Are You?: Frosty Weekend in Rhyl
Current Mood: Sexy as fuck!

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

Essex again

The carbon monoxide levels produced by Mr Putt's car were 1,000 times higher than a factory standard vehicle.
Exhaust fumes had leaked under the bonnet because of the modifications, which included vents being cut into the bonnet and the catalytic converter being removed.



http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-39350942

The best facial is a daily facial.

User avatar
Complete Nutter!!
Posts: 16863
Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 6:40 pm
How Hot Are You?: Siberia
Current Mood: unknown

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

Channel Hopper wrote:Essex again

The carbon monoxide levels produced by Mr Putt's car were 1,000 times higher than a factory standard vehicle.
Exhaust fumes had leaked under the bonnet because of the modifications, which included vents being cut into the bonnet and the catalytic converter being removed.



http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-39350942



Very very careless

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

User avatar
Aliens Ate My Chicken!
Posts: 111462
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 8:32 am
Location: Smegland
How Hot Are You?: The Big Bang!!
Current Mood: Won Tons Mons

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

smeggypants wrote:
Channel Hopper wrote:Essex again

The carbon monoxide levels produced by Mr Putt's car were 1,000 times higher than a factory standard vehicle.
Exhaust fumes had leaked under the bonnet because of the modifications, which included vents being cut into the bonnet and the catalytic converter being removed.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-39350942


Very very careless


It's been a criminal offence for some 75 years.

The best facial is a daily facial.

User avatar
Complete Nutter!!
Posts: 16863
Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 6:40 pm
How Hot Are You?: Siberia
Current Mood: unknown

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

It is thought the man removed roof tiles to get into the building and was asphyxiated when his clothing became caught.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-39375541

The best facial is a daily facial.

User avatar
Complete Nutter!!
Posts: 16863
Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 6:40 pm
How Hot Are You?: Siberia
Current Mood: unknown

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

"The force said it appeared the man had been there for several weeks."

Fuck, I bet that smelled a bit :throwup: :throwup: :throwup:

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

User avatar
Aliens Ate My Chicken!
Posts: 111462
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 8:32 am
Location: Smegland
How Hot Are You?: The Big Bang!!
Current Mood: Won Tons Mons

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

smeggypants wrote:"The force said it appeared the man had been there for several weeks."

Fuck, I bet that smelled a bit :throwup: :throwup: :throwup:


And nobody missed the thieving cunt. :D

The best facial is a daily facial.

User avatar
Complete Nutter!!
Posts: 16863
Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 6:40 pm
How Hot Are You?: Siberia
Current Mood: unknown

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

I bet the chemist was wondering why they saw a huge increase in passers by walking in and asking for remedies for nausea

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

User avatar
Aliens Ate My Chicken!
Posts: 111462
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 8:32 am
Location: Smegland
How Hot Are You?: The Big Bang!!
Current Mood: Won Tons Mons

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

Dead man walking :D

A US woman from North Carolina has launched an online appeal after her husband accidentally donated her wedding dress to charity.

Natalie Gelbert's husband was dropping donation bags off at Goodwill - but her wedding dress was also in their car to get dry cleaned.

She is now trying to track it down after the dress was reportedly sold on Saturday for $25 (£20).


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-39372886

The best facial is a daily facial.

User avatar
Complete Nutter!!
Posts: 16863
Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 6:40 pm
How Hot Are You?: Siberia
Current Mood: unknown

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

:rofl: :rofl:

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

User avatar
Aliens Ate My Chicken!
Posts: 111462
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 8:32 am
Location: Smegland
How Hot Are You?: The Big Bang!!
Current Mood: Won Tons Mons

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

crumbs wrote:Matador whose anus was 'completely destroyed' by a bull looks forward to getting back in the 'ring':

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... bs-up.html

:howl: :howl: :howl:



"Matador Antonio Romero was in Mexico City's bull ring when an animal named Caporal punctured him 11 inches deep in his rectal area, last Sunday."


So tell us crumbs, what does that actually feel like?

:D :D

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

User avatar
Aliens Ate My Chicken!
Posts: 111462
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 8:32 am
Location: Smegland
How Hot Are You?: The Big Bang!!
Current Mood: Won Tons Mons

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

Image

Arsehole ! :D

The best facial is a daily facial.

User avatar
Complete Nutter!!
Posts: 16863
Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 6:40 pm
How Hot Are You?: Siberia
Current Mood: unknown

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

crumbs wrote:Filthy dog kills its owner whilst a BBC film crew are filming a documentary!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -crew.html

Why the fuck are authorities still deciding whether or not to put down this evil creature? Get rid of it!

So, this'll be an interesting one for those who incarcerate dirty dogs for their own emotional well-being: who was at fault here? The owner for being killed by his own dog, or the filthy, disgusting dog?



Can't comment much on the individual case as I don't much about it, but it does seem that the dog bit him and he was unlicky to get bit in a main artery and beledto death. he wasn't mauled to death as the idiots at the Daily mail described it



I will comment against the morons commenting against Staffies on the page. We have two Staffies and they're the most loyal loving doggies you could meet.

The person who made the following comment can only have 1 brain cell, which most of the time is being rented out to someone else

Ban them. Absolutely no good reason to own such a Dog. Cue the idiot owners telling us how lovely they are. Howabout if I was allowed to let a Lion loose near their families?

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

User avatar
Aliens Ate My Chicken!
Posts: 111462
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 8:32 am
Location: Smegland
How Hot Are You?: The Big Bang!!
Current Mood: Won Tons Mons

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

crumbs wrote:Yes the owner was a bit unlucky to have had his loyal dog lock its jaw on his windpipe as predators in the wild do when hunting prey. LMFAO.

How many more people need to be mauled to death or bitten before society gets rid of these filthy animals.

Adopt a child instead. Dogs are kept purely for the emotional wellbeing of the owner. And notice the term 'owner'.


Far more humans are killed by humans. Shall we get rid of humans?

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

User avatar
Aliens Ate My Chicken!
Posts: 111462
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 8:32 am
Location: Smegland
How Hot Are You?: The Big Bang!!
Current Mood: Won Tons Mons

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

crumbs wrote:Yes the owner was a bit unlucky to have had his loyal dog lock its jaw on his windpipe as predators in the wild do when hunting prey.


Then why aren't millions of people being killed by their dogs on a daily basis then?

You haven't a clue about dogs

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

User avatar
Aliens Ate My Chicken!
Posts: 111462
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 8:32 am
Location: Smegland
How Hot Are You?: The Big Bang!!
Current Mood: Won Tons Mons

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

crumbs wrote:Fuck dogs. :D


The deviant shenanigans thread is elsewhere. :thumb:

Meanwhile

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-39427458

The best facial is a daily facial.

User avatar
Complete Nutter!!
Posts: 16863
Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 6:40 pm
How Hot Are You?: Siberia
Current Mood: unknown

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

smeggypants wrote:
crumbs wrote:Yes the owner was a bit unlucky to have had his loyal dog lock its jaw on his windpipe as predators in the wild do when hunting prey.


Then why aren't millions of people being killed by their dogs on a daily basis then?

You haven't a clue about dogs


Plenty of attacks like this Mr Smeggy:

Man mauled to death by his own dog while BBC filmed him for a documentary

A man was attacked and mauled to death by his own dog while he was being interviewed by a BBC film crew.

The man, 41, was taken to hospital but couldn’t be saved after suffering catastrophic blood loss and damage to the airways consistent with a dog bite.

The dog, a Staffordshire Bull Terrier according to police, is believed to have attacked its owner in the street outside his home in Wood Green, north London.

Paramedics were called around 10.30pm on Monday last week, but they couldn’t save the man and he was pronounced dead two hours later.

Staffies are not banned under the Dangerous Dogs Act and are popular in the UK.

The dog has been taken into secure kennels while a decision is made on whether it will be put down.
In the UK, the banned breeds are the Pit Bull Terrier, the Japanese Tosa, Dogo Argentino and the Fila Braziliero.

In a statement, the Met Police said: ‘The man’s death is not being treated as suspicious. A post-mortem examination at Haringey mortuary on Friday, 24 March gave cause of death as hypovolemic shock and damage to the airway consistent with a dog bite.

‘Enquiries by police at Haringey continue to assist the coroner.’

A BBC spokesperson said: ‘We are aware of an incident but we cannot comment any further as it’s an ongoing investigation.’
More here: http://metro.co.uk/2017/03/29/man-maule ... y-6540260/
Source: METRO



Fine Barman!
Posts: 10599
Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2008 9:19 pm

PreviousNext

Share this Topic on Facebook:

Return to Jokes

Similar topics

  • Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post
    Top of Page

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron