Smeggy's Forums

Forums where you CAN vent!

Skip to content

pic and mix [RIP Hurachai]

The place for Jokes - You're 'aving a laugh - "He's 'aving a laugh!"

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

User avatar
Aliens Ate My Chicken!
Posts: 118278
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 8:32 am
Location: Smegland
How Hot Are You?: The Big Bang!!
Current Mood: Won Tons Mons

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

Image



:rofl:

Planets and Atmospheres: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter4
The Dome of Clement: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter2#
Minimal Cheese available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter
Website: http://www.philter.org

User avatar
Grand Master
Posts: 7113
Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:16 pm

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

User avatar
Aliens Ate My Chicken!
Posts: 118278
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 8:32 am
Location: Smegland
How Hot Are You?: The Big Bang!!
Current Mood: Won Tons Mons

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

:rofl: :rofl:
Paddy’s girlfriend gets a tattoo of a sea shell on the top of her inner thigh.Paddy thinks it’s fucking amazing because if you put your ear on it you can actually smell the sea

:maddy: Image


Image

User avatar
Forum Slapper Lush
Posts: 35156
Joined: Sun May 25, 2008 9:53 pm
Location: East London with Just Dave now.
How Hot Are You?: Centre Of The Sun
Current Mood: Eff it.

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

:D

The best facial is a daily facial.

User avatar
Insane Poster
Posts: 23024
Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 6:40 pm
How Hot Are You?: Siberia
Current Mood: unknown

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

:howl:

Paddy is a gifted phucker isn't he? :D



User avatar
Really Loves Smeggy's
Posts: 2069
Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2018 6:05 pm
How Hot Are You?: The Big Bang!!
Current Mood: Gusset sniffer

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

Image

The best facial is a daily facial.

User avatar
Insane Poster
Posts: 23024
Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 6:40 pm
How Hot Are You?: Siberia
Current Mood: unknown

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

:rofl:

Planets and Atmospheres: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter4
The Dome of Clement: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter2#
Minimal Cheese available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter
Website: http://www.philter.org

User avatar
Grand Master
Posts: 7113
Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:16 pm

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

:howl:

Where can I buy some? I'm starving and could murder a pork sausage.



User avatar
Really Loves Smeggy's
Posts: 2069
Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2018 6:05 pm
How Hot Are You?: The Big Bang!!
Current Mood: Gusset sniffer

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

User avatar
Aliens Ate My Chicken!
Posts: 118278
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 8:32 am
Location: Smegland
How Hot Are You?: The Big Bang!!
Current Mood: Won Tons Mons

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

WHAT MARRIED MAN THINKS

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.

She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup coffee in front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring
at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee...

'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room.

The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. Do you remember back then?' he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive.
'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.

'Do you remember when your father caught us in my car?'
'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved the gun in my face and said:
'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'

'I remember that too' she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...

"I would have been released today..!!!"

:maddy: Image


Image

User avatar
Forum Slapper Lush
Posts: 35156
Joined: Sun May 25, 2008 9:53 pm
Location: East London with Just Dave now.
How Hot Are You?: Centre Of The Sun
Current Mood: Eff it.

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

Boss: "Do you believe in life after death?"
Employee: "Definitely not - there's no proof of it, is there?"
Boss: "Well there is now. After you left work early yesterday to go to your uncle's funeral, he came here looking for you."

:maddy: Image


Image

User avatar
Forum Slapper Lush
Posts: 35156
Joined: Sun May 25, 2008 9:53 pm
Location: East London with Just Dave now.
How Hot Are You?: Centre Of The Sun
Current Mood: Eff it.

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

:D

The best facial is a daily facial.

User avatar
Insane Poster
Posts: 23024
Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 6:40 pm
How Hot Are You?: Siberia
Current Mood: unknown

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

:rofl:

Planets and Atmospheres: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter4
The Dome of Clement: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter2#
Minimal Cheese available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter
Website: http://www.philter.org

User avatar
Grand Master
Posts: 7113
Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:16 pm

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

Image



:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Planets and Atmospheres: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter4
The Dome of Clement: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter2#
Minimal Cheese available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter
Website: http://www.philter.org

User avatar
Grand Master
Posts: 7113
Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:16 pm

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

User avatar
Aliens Ate My Chicken!
Posts: 118278
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 8:32 am
Location: Smegland
How Hot Are You?: The Big Bang!!
Current Mood: Won Tons Mons

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

Image



:)

Planets and Atmospheres: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter4
The Dome of Clement: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter2#
Minimal Cheese available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter
Website: http://www.philter.org

User avatar
Grand Master
Posts: 7113
Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:16 pm

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

A man was working in the garden and his wife was about to take a shower.

He realized that he couldn't find the rake.. and yelled up to his wife,

"Where is the rake?"

She couldn't hear and she shouted back, "What?"

He pointed to his eye, and then pointed to his knee and made a raking motion.

his wife wasn't sure and said "What?"

He repeated the gestures. "Eye - Kneed - The Rake"

His wife replied that she understands and signals back.

She first points to her eye, next she points to her left breast, then she points to her backside, and finally to her crotch.

Well, there is no way in hell IHe could even come close to that one.

Exasperated, He went upstairs and asked her, "What the hell was that?"

She replies:

"Eye - Left Tit - Behind - The Bush" !!!



:rofl:

Planets and Atmospheres: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter4
The Dome of Clement: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter2#
Minimal Cheese available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/philter
Website: http://www.philter.org

User avatar
Grand Master
Posts: 7113
Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:16 pm

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

User avatar
Aliens Ate My Chicken!
Posts: 118278
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 8:32 am
Location: Smegland
How Hot Are You?: The Big Bang!!
Current Mood: Won Tons Mons

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on

      

Found this elsewhere:

I won an Elvis themed competition once and had a choice of a cash prize or tickets to a tribute concert. Had to ring up to claim and got a recorded message. It was 1 for the money, 2 for the show.....

"Who does the washing? Who does the drying? No one, with this washer dryer" - Jim Bowen

I still need you there beside me
No matter what I do
For I know
I'll never find another you
- The Seekers

"Life is what happens to you when you're away making other plans" - John Lennon

"Names Gene Hunt, your DCI and its 1973. Almost dinner time. I'm havin' hoops!"

User avatar
Complete Nutter!!
Posts: 10273
Joined: Wed May 28, 2008 10:19 am
Location: St. Albans, UK
How Hot Are You?: A Nice English Summer's Day
Current Mood: What a shitload of fuck

PreviousNext

Share this Topic on Facebook:

Return to Jokes

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests